I’ve been alive long enough to know what I like and what I won’t tolerate in my life. A little compromise is obviously needed in most situations but honestly as I get older, I appreciate more and more, my ability to sense BS, assess it (while going along with it) then remove myself from it wholeheartedly.
I’m an advocate for cutting negative people, forces and influences out of your life because the amount of stress and anxiety it causes is just never ever worth it. See below how negativity has affected me and how I’ve dealt and continue to deal with it.
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY (Quote by Theodore Roosevelt)
One of the things I’m continually working on is exactly this. I’m the biggest project I’ll ever work on, I’m a constant work-in-progress so I know not to compare myself, my career, my home, my hair, my boobs, etc. with another girl’s. Comparing yourself with others is a sure way of ensuring your own precious blessings never measure up. It’s obviously easier said than done, but happiness starts the day you decide you are enough and everything you have really starts to feels like the blessing that it is. When it comes to love and relationships, I always say nobody’s relationship is my relationship goals because you never know what goes on behind closed doors. In our careers, we also fall victim to comparing our first or second step with someone else’s 50th which places unnecessary and unfair pressure on us. I have honestly learned to appreciate every single thing I have like I’ve just received it and the minute you decide that everything you have and love is a blessing, you’ll start treating it differently.
Try keeping a gratitude journal or a God box (write letters to God) to help you keep a log of all the things you’re grateful for. Works for me.
WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY
I cannot stress the importance of taking this “What will so and so say?” line and flushing it down the toilet. I left my mom’s house at 17 after I had just matriculated and had to start university the next year. My compass in life has always been my mother – she’s guided me through every single step in life with grace and love and not a single spark of friction was ever involved. I’m telling you all of this because this is the person I’ve always strived to make proud, and now that I’m married, I strive to make my my husband proud too. Making myself proud goes without saying, obvs.
At the end of the day you (and those close to you) have to live with your decisions so don’t live for society and what is “expected” of you, you won’t ever cross that finish line I’m afraid.
LIVE GO AND LET GOD
I won’t ever put myself on a pedestal and pretend to know it all. In fact I’ll tell you the opposite, because I’m young and still learning. However, and this is a BIG however, I do know the power of GOD. What I know for sure is that when you give all your troubles to God and let Jesus Christ lead your way, he will always guide you out of every one of your challenges. I’m not kidding.
Having gone through having a baby, getting married and officially starting our new life as a family, I’ve seen God move in our lives like you cannot believe. There’s not a thing I don’t pray for in my life and there’s not a thing I don’t surrender to Jesus Christ.
“My secret is simple. I pray.”
TRUST YOUR GUT
We’ve all heard this line and its many variations but I honestly only started really paying attention in the past few years. Call it your gut, your intuition or your sixth sense, I think it comes with being connected to God – it’s like God is speaking directly to you about a person or a situation. So because I believe it’s God, I listen. If my spirit so much as hesitates about a meeting, attending a social gathering or a person and their vibe, I listen and react accordingly. It hasn’t led me astray so I’m good.
NO ONE HAS EVER BECOME POOR BY GIVING (Quote by Anne Frank)
One of the things I noticed served my spirit was when I was doing some positive for someone else. Again, my mom has been very influential in this regard. She’s been generous with what she has for as long as I can remember and she’s always so cheerful about it, like she’s got an unlimited supply of the thing she’s giving – whether it’s love, money, her time, food, etc. I don’t ever remember hearing her remind anyone of what she’s done for them or making it a notable thing. I asked her about it a few months ago and after blushing for a moment, she went on to say that we teach by doing not by telling. This is how she raised us and this is how I’ll raise my kids and that’s how my kids will raise theirs. A beautiful generational gift of being a blessing.